London? We need a word

What happened to you? You’ve become clamourous, and I’m not sure I like this new personality change all of a sudden. Or is the honeymoon period finally over? Do we call it quits now? I don’t want another ex, it was hard splitting up with Tokyo. I’m not sure I’ll ever get over this break up.

The truth is we are getting irritated with each other, I can no longer stand your fast-pace lifestyle and I’m sure as hell you think I’m getting a little boring. I just can’t keep up; your cereal cafes, toilet bars are getting a little ridiculous and your schedule a little hard to keep with. You have good traits too, I mean for every porridge cafe, there’s a cat cafe.

But your quirkiness seems false, as if you’re trying to hard to impress the new guys. I’m kind of getting sick of you playing up all your good points and brushing aside your faults. We all have them and its okay. It’s okay to be a little misunderstood, at 27 I’m pretty sure I’m never going to be fully understood. And you’re what pushing 2100? Or something like that?

Let’s talk faults, you’re getting rowdy, a bit too big for your boots per se. There was the Olympics and you throw a good party I’ll give you that but you also overspend.  And you don’t delve into your own pocket enough, you borrow, borrow borrow and then spend, spend, spend. Sometimes I’m wondering when I’m going to get all this money back that I invested in all this glam.

I’m not trying to rub your nose in all of your faults. You do have good ones, remember that day when you held that shindig for William and Kate? Or when you made all your museums free? Score one for you. You’re multicultural, you have friends from all over. Unlike Tokyo you’re pretty accepting of all their cultural particulars as well. That’s awesome.

London: Liverpool Street

London: Liverpool Street

But London, this competitive streak you seem to be having with New York has to stop, your once beautiful face is full of craters, cranes and smoke.  It’s painful to see you go through this downward spiral, just because of a little insecurity. I know New York is your younger, more popular sister. But let it go, don’t try to keep with the youngsters; be who you are, be that beautiful crafted storytelling older sister, we love to have around for a pint. Not this pretentious overspending, sometimes obnoxious New York mannequin. You’re better than that.

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