So I’m sitting in A&E with a bag of ice on my head wondering where have I played out this scenario before? Was it that time in Tokyo I got so battered that I fell to the ground head first on the subway? Or was it that time when I was playing a game of rounders in secondary school and got distracted by that weirdly attractive IT teacher? Whenever it was, I had clearly fucked up many times before now.
I’m used to being the one that accidentally spills their morning coffee on their new Zara blouse or CCing in that person I had called a wanker in the email. Reply all is not your friend. Actually I think they should delete that feature immediately it would save so many careers. I’m so used to ‘fucking up’ that I’m constantly aware of my next big mistake and I don’t even need to drink four or five G&Ts to do it.
The odd thing about being an adult (not even young adult I’m just adult adult, which I’m sure because of some sexist societal expectation is mildly terrifying) is that these fuck-ups are being racked up against you by self-righteous friends, exes, family (the list is endless). For those people it shows your lack of responsibility, maturity and this is one is only for the ladies -elegance.
Now I’m not saying we should allow ourselves to be complete messes, inept of taking ownership of our lives or careers, but what I am saying is that we should be allowed to fuck up (occasionally) and for it not to held against us at every corner. We are human after all (or most us I assume). I’ve made my inner peace with a lot of my past mistakes, for overspending (investing as I used to call it), overdrinking, for being too honest, for not being honest enough. I refuse for those mistakes to keep hanging over me, like a credit card bill I haven’t paid yet. Forgive and forget is a cliche, not because it’s true but because people sometimes need it.